she said to find my element…

my element is smoke.

dirty, captivating, floating, dissolving… choking.

my punishment is ephemerality, impermanence.

i am fascinated by the macabre

and also terrified.

my penance is letting go –

i self-sabotage and end up in purgatory.

there’s a smoke machine manned by spirits smoking cigarettes that smell unfamiliar – that one: a cigar.

my job, they say, is to clean the air by breathing:

it gives me anxiety and

the spirits shape-shift into various things they know unsettle me

so i name them Puck 6, Puck 2, Puck 5/

my least favourite small numbers.

when i get out of here, i will take up smoking again.

i will blow smoke in the face of everyone i see

and end up back where i came from –

unless i decide to change.

which i might.

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WordPress???

i started this WordPress to have a space to house all of my yiddishkeit works without the extra stuff I also have on my personal tumblr, mostly bc I always want to give out my tumblr for its Jewish content but don’t bc of its personal content

on my personal tumblr I have a large following + community of radical Jews and radicals in general, and we all kinda support each other and its great

but I don’t see the kind of community on here that I do on tumblr, WordPress feels a lot more individualistic?

I don’t know if that’s cause I’ve only had it for like 3 days, but its a bit discouraging

also all the Jewish tags are filled with antisemitism, as they are on tumblr, but on tumblr there’s an alternative Jewish tag that we’ve created that goyim don’t generally post in, so I can find Jewish content without seeing antisemites call for the destruction of the Jewish race…

if anyone reads this and could suggest any blogs to follow that would be a huge help!

fiddler rant

i really genuinely resent the fact that fiddler, which was a hugely important movie for me and my diasporic sorrow, is such a cultural icon to goyim who know nothing at all about jewishness and often spout antisemitism if not out of maliciousness then out of willfull ignorance

they remember every line in the movie and it means nothing to them but a great musical! it doesnt have to be a stand in for their actual family history, they dont have to watch it and cry bc they wonder if their great-grandparents disowned their children for running away with a goy before they were destroyed by hashoah…